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Munna & Guys > Blog > Posta siparişi gelini almak için en iyi yerler > The main thing will there be try love

The main thing will there be try love

June 1, 2023 Posta siparişi gelini almak için en iyi yerler

The main thing will there be try love

Aijan Rakhimdinova

Twenty-one year old Ulan anxieties that he might be good bachelor for some time in the future. Whether or not they have a spouse, the fresh new old Kyrgyz lifestyle that really needs create-be grooms to blow a bride price gГјzel Kolombiya kД±zla tanД±ЕџД±n, otherwise kalym, so you’re able to his fiance’s mothers function the latest current college or university graduate can’t afford to acquire married.

“I am meant to offer step 1,five hundred You bucks dollars, a pony and that can cost you three hundred-600 bucks, a great cow which will cost you 2 hundred-350 dollars and you may a beneficial sheep well worth 70 cash and you will merchandise to possess the brand new parents. Right now that it looks impractical in my experience, once i just secure 31 bucks thirty day period,” told you Ulan.

The new kalym the most important and old lifestyle of those regarding Central China, typically given to the mother and father of the bride-to-be as an installment to own discussing the child. Now, they varies from good emblematic sum of fifty so you’re able to 5,100 dollars and frequently is available in the form of livestock or high priced household items instance carpets, seats and you will products.

Proponents of your own kalym find it just like the an optimistic habit one to lets ladies to understand their worth while anyone else state it turns him or her on the an item and prevents of a lot young people away from performing a family.

“I have already been using my sweetheart for 5 years now, and we would like to marry, nevertheless situation disease regarding my personal boyfriend doesn’t make it him to blow brand new kalym and that my moms and dads required myself,” 20-year-dated Gulbarchyn told IWPR.

“My moms and dads told my sweetheart to bring at the very least step one,000 cash, a pony, cow and you can sheep, maybe not counting gift ideas on parents. Even in the event I want to get married centered on life style, at this time like and you will my pleasure become more necessary for myself.”

Brand new kalym is determined by a gathering away from parents from both household – the amount showing the woman’s features. When the she actually is college graduate otherwise working in a jobs up coming a bigger share is questioned.

The bride’s mothers up coming return part of the payment regarding version of good dowry, which is usually smaller compared to the fresh new kalym.

People that contradict the routine dispute the fresh new tradition of the kalym works against the concept out of equality between your sexes. “If one takes new advice that women and men are equal, why must men pay a fee,” said twenty five-year-old Sultan.

Yet not, economist and you may parliamentary deputy Kubanychbek Idinov claims the kalym is not a fee for the new bride-to-be – a significant improvement, the guy told you, if ladies are to stop undergoing treatment like a paid for item.

“What commission and you may kalym don’t correspond to both. This will be a wrong translation of one’s program amongst the parents of wedding couple. The price tag, probably the keyword by itself, insults the human self-respect of one’s girl,” told you Idinov.

Your mind of your Kyrgyzstan’s Muslim clergy, Yusur Yakubovich Loma, says new kalym isn’t really recognised under Sharia legislation regardless if extra, “The individuals have the life, if we bring her or him away that will i feel after that? When the because of the fulfilling such way of life, one goes in loans, next this is not advised because of the Islam.”

“My hubby introduced myself a good kalym . nevertheless when i broke up, he required their kalym right back, threatening to conquer me,” said Nurmira, a citizen of village off Dolon regarding Issykkul part, showing a common problem.

Psychologist Nazira Isaeva believes one to just before wedding the whole kalym does not matter, but afterwards it may serve as a factor in dissension. Good woman’s condition in her own husband’s loved ones hinges on good speed are paid off, enabling their simply to walk extreme certainly this lady the fresh friends as well given that this lady dated.

Aijan Rakhimdinova

“I even more notice that just before wedding, girls believe that [the new kalym] is not necessarily the main question and that it is not important. Once they wed, as it happens which they provide that it many characteristics,” said Isaeva.

Gulmira, a citizen away from Karakol for the north Kyrgyzstan, claims she regrets not receiving more substantial kalym. “My personal moms and dads gave me a costly dowry, as the sum of brand new kalym is actually tiny, however when I come household [observe him or her] my personal mothers rebuke myself once the very little was purchased me,” she told you.

Various other Kyrgyz personalized that’s thriving because of the kalym is the ancient heritage regarding bride to be kidnapping, that’s getting more common certainly one of household just who do not want so you’re able to spend.

During some cases a lady could possibly get commit to become “kidnapped” from the this lady date, to enable them to afford to marry, other times women are abducted and you will obligated to wed up against its commonly.

Fiance kidnappers including reduce wedding will cost you given that partnerships one initiate that have an enthusiastic abduction are often marked having an even more more compact service.

“I’m not in a position to spend the money for kalym, but have to acquire partnered, and i decided to help you inexpensive a girlfriend to have me personally,” told you 24-year-dated Temirlan.

Financial adversity likewise has considering go up to help you a deformation of your own kalym under and this difficult-up parents – always on country – demand a bride-to-be rate because of their child next order the woman so you’re able to go homeward after a couple of days. This step will then be frequent from time to time.

Despite the criticisms out-of kalym, many more mature Kyrgyz was unwilling to give up on the brand new way of life and you may tradition of their forefathers, saying it is sometimes complicated to simply deny a person’s sources. “We have been Kyrgyz, so we have to get married out-of female according to society, because this is the fresh new parent’s obligation and now we have this inside the blood,” told you you to mommy.

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